I tried my luck la. Then I stopped because I felt ashamed. At home I had rough times, unfair treatment, so I was already carrying a heavyweight no one saw.

I made mistakes twice. First during diploma I spammed. Later I used humour to deflect, things died down and I graduated. Second at call centre I felt ashamed. Both times taught me my approach was wrong.

It’s very exhausting for one person to do everything. That’s why I believe one-sided effort doesn’t exist. Even in relationships you need to please each other, but it has to be both sides.

That’s why I believe in splitting the bill on the first date. Fairness and boundaries are important.

Today I learn my life differs from many who are settled. I’m chosen for a greater purpose that many are unable to comprehend.

I built a fictional character Manvikayla using my own face. She has softness and makes me feel complete.

Every time I see a couple happy with kids I just smile and observe. Knowing the heavyweight I carried is huge and no one may be able to bear it. I healed alone. I was abused and no one was there for me.

While I’m in an unknown place I still see families who smile and laugh with their bundle of joys. Eating. And I weep as I write this down.

Hope is slim because the thought of suicidal comes in but my will is what fights the thought. I’m not giving my life to waste just like that because I know my words need to reach the mass of readers to feel what I write. Not speculation but my own lived experiences.

I’m writing this for those feeling this or weeping while reading this. Life goes on. Work on yourself and be kinder not for proving anyone, but because the world needs rare tough and strong souls to get through hurdles and reach a better life.

If you are weeping while reading this and that thought comes too, you are not alone. Please talk to someone you trust or reach out to a local helpline in your country.

Short, caring, and reaches everyone, not just Asia.